We all have something we are brilliant at. However when we are being told this story that we need to hold it in, we learn that it’s bad, something to be ashamed of and it’s boastful behaviour to let it shine and eclipes others’. So we never learn how to appreciate those gifts and talents in ourselves. What sadder even is that we learn to judge others who are in those very same shoes.
For women, in particular, this is an especially potent invisibility story to explore. We are given messages from the very beginnings of our lives, that we need to take up as little space as possible, be as quiet as possible, be accommodating as possible. Because when we don’t do those things, we are a burden. So we start applying that to our life pretty early on.
If you’re doing better than others around you, you might feel like you’re being disloyal to them. That your success in whatever it is you’re doing is an act of betrayal towards the people who aren’t doing as well as you. This puts a huge stopping block in front of you. You don’t want to betray the people you love, you don’t want to make them feel like you’re not in their sandbox anymore.
This was my story for a long time. Like 4 decades. I grew up with parents who had a poverty mindset. It’s not that they haven’t tried to create abundance. It’s just that while they worked themselves stupid trying to create abundance for themselves and their two children, they never believed they deserved it.
Boundaries form through trial and error. They are one of those things you learn more about when you don’t have them. We’ve all had the one client that just keeps emailing with those, “can I just ask you this quickly” messages they send a hundred of daily. Or the person who follows your Facebook page that thinks that you’re their personal advisor for free. It happens and sooner or later, in business, you have people and situations that will push and challenge your boundaries. Some will make you wish you had any.
Dreams often unpack information from our subconscious minds that we are shoving to the back and put into the too hard basket. They are also road signs that help us sift through options, crossroads and navigate life and even business.
Content is great! I love content! I love planning it, creating it, publishing it. I just love it. That is why I am doing what I’m doing in my business. It’s my ZOG – Zone of Genius and my ZOJ – Zone of Joy. I know that not everyone feels that way.
One of the main elements of what I do is discovering where and why the women I work with play small. It’s a confronting part of my work but the most rewarding. It’s one thing to work with someone to produce some content. It’s another to see them open and unravel their amazing wisdom with courage. And with the complete conviction that their voice is worthy of being heard.