Sandbox or broom closet? Whether it's one or the other, you are depriving yourself of unfolding you and owning your power if you are staying in the space too small for you.
When the container is too small, the solution is not to loose some of your mass. It's to get a new, bigger container. Or go BIG and have not container at all.
You can kid yourself into accepting the tiny space you're occupying physically and spiritually, by re-shuffling your life. Or by convincing yourself that you don't need a bigger space. Or worse, convincing yourself that you don't deserve a bigger space.
It makes me sad (and mad) when I see and hear women contracting into something unrecognisable just to fit into the sandbox or the broom closet they have assigned for themselves.
Our growth as humans is continuous. Spiritual, emotional, mental. There is no reason why we should restrict ourselves to boundaries as far as our capabilities go.
When we do that, it's a sign of beliefs we have developed, not a sign of our actual potential.
Women have been taught to make ourselves small to keep others around us comfortable. Not just in the physical space but in the spiritual, emotional, mental and professional spaces as well.
It wasn't that long ago when women were not only frowned upon when in certain professions but were actively sabotaged from participating.
I can think of more than one field where women do the bulk of the work, yet their visibility and therefore recognition is well below their male counterparts.
Occupying the space you're in not only means physically. Although if you're finding yourself shrinking in your seat on public transport so the person next to you can spread out more and encroach on your space, it's your visibility issue manifesting in the physical.
When you feel like you need to be quiet or in the background because for some reason you don't deserve to be seen or heard, you're limiting the space you're occupying.
If you feel like you need to limit your demands on your families resources because if you want to be seen and heard more is going to take something away from the people you love, you're limiting the space you're occupying.
If you feel like you are betraying the roots you come from by being seen and heard and rising above the limits other set for you, you're limiting the space you're occupying.
If you feel like by commanding more visibility you're taking the attention away from others, you're limiting the space you're occupying.
We have this idea that the space available "out there" for love, abundance, wealth, happiness and all the good things in life is limited. And as such only those who are perfect (or at least better than us) deserve it.
So we voluntarily give up our space, the space that is our right to have, in favour of those we view as more worthy.
See, here's the thing.
We are not qualified to decide who is worthy and who isn't. Just look at history. You will find plenty of people who commanded a huge amount of visibility that we wish never existed.
When you look at space as limited, there will always be a reason to surrender your visibility in favour of someone or something else.
When you look at it as unlimited, however, all those excuses of not being good enough, being a burden, betraying where you come from or hogging the attention away from others, become moot.
And when that happens, the only thing left to do is to expand into as much space as you need, can occupy and want. Those who come to this realisation will take their visibility by the horns and will be seen and heard.
If you want to be one of those people who believe that there is absolutely no reason to constrict yourself to a small space as a human being, grab yourself a space in my dairy for a free 15 minute call to chat about how you can make that happen.